


vriska "i'm totally str8, guys!" serket

by quartzandmelody



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Compulsive Heterosexuality, F/F, Gay crisis, Humanstuck, background davekat, background rosemary - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 02:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14203479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzandmelody/pseuds/quartzandmelody
Summary: Vriska thinks she's straight. Little does she know, Terezi is a major fucking hottie and Tavros kind of sucks!





	1. Lesbian Lense

**Author's Note:**

> howdy. i'm the author of wonderful shitfics such as kawaii high, forbidden lovers (johndavekat), an ocean away (eridave), and many more! this is, however incredibly shitty, not *supposed* to be a shitfic. because i can't write something serious to save my life this is still full of in-jokes and subtle memes and tropes from my shitfics. thanks for your understanding.

Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright. That’s 8 alright’s! Cause FYI, the num8er 8 is kiiiiiiiinda my thing :::;) So I guess this is sort of like my 8log or… whatever. 8asically I’m just a kid in high school (WHICH I’M NOT GIVING AWAY!!!!!!!! I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR CREEPS) and I’m willing to admit I’m a TOTAL 8itch! Cause it really do 8e like that sometimes. Anyway. I was hanging out with my 8oyfriend today and I’m really hoping that he like doesn’t see this cause to 8e honest? I’m not really feeling it with him anymore. His name’s Tavros and he’s kind of a huge nerd 8ut I thought that’s what I found endearing a8out him. Now it’s like… ew! Yaknow? I dunno I talked to my friend Kanaya a8out it 8ut she’s a huge les8ian and can’t get rid of her Les8ian Lense or whatever the fuck so she automatically insisted that I just dump him. I don’t think I should do that, though! We’ve 8een d8ing for like, what, 3 years now? You can’t just throw that away! I mean pretty much the same thing happened with my ex, John, like he just started getting on my nerves ALL THE TIME. 8ut to 8e fair, that was a middle school romance! Those like never work out so it just wasn’t destined to 8e! 8ut now with Tavros it’s like… I just don’t think I feel what I’m supposed to? I dunno… may8e this is getting a 8it too personal.  
-arachnidsGrip  


GA: I Saw Your Blog Post  
GA: I Know You May Not Want To Hear From Me Due To My “Lesbian Lense” But I Dont Think You Should Be Stringing Tavros Along Like This  
AG: Stringing him along?  
AG: No no no no no no no no, that’s totally not what’s happening!  
AG: See, this is why I can’t talk to you a8out relationship stuff.  
AG: You’re always doing this!  
GA: Doing What Exactly  
AG: THIS!  
AG: This les8ian shtick!  
GA: …  
AG: Ugh you know what I mean!  
GA: Not Really  
GA: But Anyway  
GA: Maybe You Should Talk To Him About This  
AG: Okay, like I know you’re definitely right, 8ut if you think I’m actually going to do that you o8biously don’t know me at all.  
GA: Yeah Thats Pretty Much What I Was Expecting  
AG: Thanks anyway, Kanaya.  
AG: I know I don’t say it often, 8ut you’re actually not awful.  
GA: Wowie Thanks  
AG: ::::)


	2. Boys Are Gross

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all in the title

AT: hEY }:)  
AG: Oh, hey ::::)  
AT: sO UH I WAS WONDERING, iF MAYBE YOU WANNA GO ON A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT?  
AG: Oh! Ummmmmmmm…….. I’ll have to think a8out it.  
AG: I don’t think I have plans 8ut I’ll have to check!  
AT: wELL,, cAN’T YOU JUST LIKE, cHECK RIGHT NOW  
AG: Uhh  
AG: Oh, shoot Terezi’s 8othering me now!?span>  
AG: See you l8er toreaDORK :::;)  
AT: hAHA, <3  
AG: <3

AG: If anyone asks, you started messaging me for something urgent.  
GC: UH  
GC: WH4T??  
AG: SIGH  
AG: Okay, look, I really didn’t think I’d 8e telling you all this stuff.  
GC: STUFF?  
AG: 8ut I… don’t think I like Tavros.  
AG: Like, romantically.  
GC: OH? >:O  
AG: Yeah…….. Kanaya’s 8een advising that I 8r8k up with him, 8ut that whole.. Situ8ion sounds like shit.  
GC: OH, W3LL.. Y34H  
GC: GUYS C4N B3 PR3TTY… UGH… WH3N 1T COM3S TO BR34K1NG UP >:/  
GC: GOD, WH3N 1 BROK3 UP W1TH K4RK4T 1T H4D TO B3 TH1S F3D3R4L FUCK1NG 1SSU3!  
GC: 4T TH3 T1M3 1 4LMOST W1SH3D 1D JUST L1V3D W1TH H1S SH1T  
AG: Wow…  
AG: That’s…  
AG: Thanks? I mean I’m not sure how that helps me right now 8ut that was pretty profound!  
GC: WH4T 1 M34N 1S, H3 GOT OV3R 1T!   
GC: 3V3N 1F T4VROS TOT4LLY SUCKS TH3 F1RST F3W D4YS 4FT3R YOU. UH. 3ND 1T..  
GC: H3’LL G3T OV3R IT 3V3NTU4LLY!  
AG: Yeah, 8ut who knows how long “eventually” could 8e!   
AG: I already have a hard time with his shit when we’re together, imagine what would happen if he was constantly crying and nagging me a8out “bREAKING HIS HEART,,,,,,,”  
GC: >:/  
AG: I know…   
AG: I just have such a hard time talking to him!  
AG: Most guys, actually.  
AG: Like… we’re two magnets with the same charge.  
GC: YOU 4R3 T3LL1NG M3 YOU 4R3 L1T3R4LLY R3P3LL3D FROM GUYS?  
AG: Well, no, like THEY repel ME! I’m just not good at talking to them, yaknow?  
AG: 8ut with all my girl friends I have no pro8lem! We can all rel8 to each other and even though we have rough patches I always m8ke up with girls in the end!  
AG: Like, when 8oys fuck up I’m just like ew 8ye.  
GC: MOOD  
AG: 8ut it’s like so hard for me to forgive 8oys!  
GC: VR1SK4 YOU 4R3 D1SH1NG OUT SOM3 S3R1OUS L3SB14N MOODS R1GHT NOW  
AG: What????????  
AG: I’m not gay!  
AG: I’ve only d8ed 8oys!!!!!!!!  
GC: >:/  
AG: I mean  
AG: Ugh! It’s like everything I say a8out this will 8e offensive.  
AG: At least you’re not like Kanaya.  
GC: L1K3 K4N4Y4?  
AG: You’re not like FULL les8ian.  
AG: Okay I see where that sounds 8ad.  
AG: I just KNOW I’m str8, okay?? This isn’t an issue! Why’s this even part of the conversation????????  
AG: You know what I’m gonna talk to one of my str8 friends for help on this!  
GC: L1K3…?  
AG: John!  
GC: H4H4.. UMM OK4Y?  
GC: GOOD LUCK W1TH TH4T 4SSHOL3!  
AG: I don’t need your luck :::;)  
GC: LOS3R

AG: Joooooooohhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn……..  
EB: oh boy.  
EB: that sure is a lot of the same letters in a row.  
AG: Ahuh!  
EB: what’s going on?  
AG: Okay, so…  
AG: You’re str8, right?  
EB: haha yeah.  
AG: Cool.  
AG: Everyone else I try talking to a8out this is trying to tell me I’m like, in the closet or something!  
AG: And 8y everyone else I mean it was literally just Terezi.  
EB: uhhh  
EB: about what?  
AG: Oh, right!  
AG: Should pro8a8ly tell you what the thing is 8efore I start ram8ling a8out it ::::)  
EB: haha :)  
AG: So, I’m not really…….. Feeling it with Tavros anymore…  
AG: Or, I don’t know if I was ever “feeling it” with him?  
EB: what do you mean?  
AG: Well, like with you, I think I initially loved you!  
AG: 8ut we sort of grew apart romantically, yaknow?  
EB: yeah.  
AG: 8ut may8e Tavros was just a re8ound that never should have happened.  
EB: maybe.  
AG: I dunno he’s just really annoying now!  
AG: He asked me on a d8 a little while ago and I just got so angry for no reason!  
AG: I sort of weaseled my way out and lied a8out Terezi messaging me in st8 of emergency.  
AG: I didn’t wanna like… 8low up on him.  
AG: Like I… did with you…  
AG: Sorry ::::(  
EB: water under the bridge!  
AG: Cool ::::)   
AG: So, what do you think?  
EB: of what?  
AG: Tavros! All the shit I just said!  
EB: oh uhhh  
EB: i don’t know vriska!  
EB: it is really all your call but if you don’t have feelings for him you probably shouldnt date him right?  
EB: at least talk to him about it cause i know he really likes you  
AG: Oof…   
AG: I’ve 8een told to talk to him more than a few times now.  
AG: I KNOW it’s the 8est option 8ut GOD I don’t wanna do it!  
EB: your call!  
AG: Ugh… I guess I’ll have to eventually anyway. Might as well get it done now!  
AG: Thanks John.  
EB: you’re welcome! I think…

AG: Hey.  
AT: hEY,   
AG: Ummmmmmmm we need to talk.  
AT: oH JEEZ,  
AG: What?  
AT: iT’S JUST, wHEN A GIRL SAYS “wE NEED TO TALK” iT’S USUALLY NOT SOMETHING GOOD }:(  
AG: Uhm.. yeah well  
AG: I don’t really think that I have like… romantic feelings for you.  
AT: oH,  
AG: Yeah  
AG: Sorry…  
AT: nO, nO, i UNDERSTAND  
AG: You do?  
AT: tOTALLY }:)  
AT: dON’T WORRY ABOUT IT vRISKA,  
AT: i AM COMPLETELY CONTENT WITH JUST BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU!  
AG: Wow, that’s… gr8!  
AG: That went a lot 8etter than expected!  
AG: Thanks Tav!  
AT: }:)  
AT: i MEAN,  
AT: i ALREADY KNOW THAT EVERY TIME I LIKE A GIRL SHE’LL NEVER LIKE ME BACK, sO  
AT: i TRY NOT TO GET MY HOPES UP TOO MUCH WHEN ONE ACTUALLY DATES ME, }:)  
AG: Oh my god.  
AG: Tavros this is why I can’t fucking stand you.  
AT: uH,   
AG: Your whole “fEEL BAD FOR ME,,,,” shtick!  
AG: I cannot f8cking st8nd it!!!!!!!!  
AT: wHAT UH,  
AT: dO YOU MEAN BY THAT?  
AG: UGH Do I RE8LLY have to fucking explain this to you????????  
AG: Why’d it have to 8e ME???????? Why couldn’t it have 8een one of those other poor girls that decided it was a good idea to d8 your sorry excuse of a 8oyfriend?  
AG: I can’t fucking do this.  
AG: I have more important shit to do than expl8n to you why I h8 you so much!   
AT: uH, oKAY?


	3. Consolation Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terezi invites Vriska over for a sleepover after The Break Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its about to get gay, fellas!

Okay. Well. I 8roke up with him and it went just as horri8ble as I thought! At first I thought it was going just gr8! 8ut then he dropped that whole meeehhh no one will ever like me shit everywhere and I sort of snapped. At least I got out of there 8efore shit got TOO 8ad. Thanks Kanaya, Terezi, and John for helping me out with this shit.   
-arachnidsGrip

Terezi invited me over tonight for a “SL33POV3R 3XTR4V4G4NZ4” 8ecause of the 8r8k up. I didn’t really want to say yes 8ut honestly it’s really hard to say no to her. I didn’t want to let her down! Letting down Terezi Pyrope has got to 8e one of the worst feelings in the universe. 8asically, don’t do it. 8ut in all honesty I’d rather just 8e alone right now and sort of lay in my 8ed and st8r at the ceiling for hours. That’s… pro8a8ly why she invited me over.  
-arachnidsGrip

You are now in second person. Yeah. That’s how it is sometimes get used to it, buck-o! One of your best friends has invited you over to her house for a sleepover after your break-up. You’re pretty fucking devastated about it since it had been such a long one. Or more like you’re fucked up because you aren’t actually sad? Like at all? You’re pretty sure you’re supposed to be sad right now but the tears just ain’t comin!   
So, at Terezi’s now. “Are you ready for the time of your life, Serket?” she says as you walk through the front door of her house. You shrug.  
“No offense, Terezi but I highly doubt this is gonna be the time of my life.” She scoffs and gestures for you to come inside.   
Stepping inside you notice that she must have cleaned up a bit! Her house is usually a fucking catastrophe but it’s a little bit neater at the moment. “Wow! Did you clean up for me?” You say, winking at her.   
She shoves your shoulder. “Maybe!” You’re both giggling and you feel embarrassed that you’re showing emotion that isn’t sarcasm (yes that’s an emotion now) or anger. “So! I have some board games, some of your favorite movies, LOTS of ice cream, baking shit,” she lists off. “Or um, if you want we could like… talk about it?” she VERY PAINFULLY AWKWARDLY suggests.   
“Oh, god, no, no we will never be talking about that. Wow. No,” you say with your hand up in a way that says ‘please stop.’ She quickly nods. You look around some more and see various board games out on the table along with some bowls of different kinds of chips. They’re some of your favorites, actually. Salt and vinegar, cheeze-itz, caramel popcorn. Wow Terezi is such a great friend! She knows exactly what you like and exactly how to cheer you up! You’re feeling better already!!! 

Eventually, you did actually end up talking about It. You guess that’s just how it is with you! “Yeah, so I guess I just feel really weird about not even like… being that upset about it? Like I’m upset that I’m not upset!”   
“Doesn’t that mean that… you’re upset?” she raises an eyebrow.   
You roll your eyes. “I mean I GUESS but it’s not cause of him! It’s cause of… how I feel about him!” Terezi sighs. “Do you get what I mean?” you ask.   
Terezi puts a hand on your shoulder. “Yeah I get you, Vris.” Woah. Something about that physical contact made you feel… warm? Like you never really touched Tavros tbh he always just made you feel weird and you never really wanted to be super close to him if you didn’t have to be. But right now as Terezi’s touching your shoulder it just feels really nice and warm? Not sure if warm is the right word but it’s all you can think of to describe it.   
“Enough about that!” you say, getting up off of the floor (which is where you were btw). “Let’s watch some Mean Girls!” You walk over to the DVDs she’s gotten out and Mean Girls is on the top of the stack. You put it in the player and plop down on the couch and Terezi soon sits down close to you. Your legs are pressed together which feels really nice. Not like sexually or anything, obviously. Just in a totally and completely platonic way like it feels nice to have physical contact with someone! You know!!! That’s definitely not gay or anything. You know you’re totally straight. Anyway.   
You can basically fucking recite Mean Girls at this point from the sheer amount of times you’ve seen it. Regina George is like You Kin ID tbh… Is that bad? Probably lmao. ANYWAY! Wow the word anyway is in this way too fucking much. One more for the road: Anyway, as you’re watching and munching away and some Quality Snackies you find yourself fixating on the whole… gay thoughts thing. Every time you sort of glance over at Terezi your heart starts beating faster and when you look down and see how your legs are touching your face starts heating up. You kind of start to lowkey freak out when you can no longer justify this.  
Terezi has been like your best friend since probably first grade or something? And now you’re seniors in high school. Sure, sometimes you get nervous around new people you want to impress but it shouldn’t be like this with her!!! “I have to go to the bathroom!” you say a bit too loudly as you walk a bit too quickly to the restroom.   
You stare at yourself in the mirror. “You’re not gay for Terezi,” you say, pointing at yourself. You start pacing around and running your hands down your face in frustration, muttering to yourself; things like “This is so stupid! We’ve been friends for so long what the fuck is going on!!” Oh jeez you’ve probably been in here way too long and she’s probably starting to wonder where you are…   
You hear a knock at the door. Shit.   
“Uhh are you okay in there?” Terezi says through the door.   
“UM YEAH TEREZI GOD I’M TAKING A SHIT THANKS” you yell.   
“Okay… just checking cause the TV was paused so long it went to that screen saver thing. You know the one.” Yeah you know the one.   
“OKAY I’LL BE OUT IN JUST A MINUTE!” you yell. You can hear Terezi’s footsteps as she walks away and you let out a sigh of relief. God you hope she didn’t hear any of that.   
After a couple more minutes of pacing and trying not to scream, you return to the couch and plop back down next to her. “Feeling better?” she says, teasingly. You stick your tongue out, while simultaneously realizing that’s not a fucking thing people do in real life ever and start panicking thinking you must be acting really weird now. This shit’s getting to your head way too much.


	4. Bit of a Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIT AM I GAY????????

The sleepover with Terezi was pretty gr8! We watched a couple of movies (including my favorite, Mean Girls) and 8 TONS of ice cream and junk. I actually feel a whole lot 8etter a8out the whole Tavros thing now, too. Despite all the shit I constantly give her, I really appreciate Terezi and everything she does for me. Oh yeah um there was something weird a8out that visit though. For some reason I kept feeling like really weird and nervous around her? Especially when she was close to me or touching me or something. Which I mean sure that’ll happen if I’m around someone I just met 8ut I’ve 8een friends with Terezi since elementary school so I’m just ???????? Whatever. May8e I’m a8out to start my period lmao  
-arachnidsGrip

GA: I Know You Dont Like When I Pester You On This Topic But  
AG: Oh 8oy.  
GA: From Your Post It Honestly Sounds Like You Possibly Have A Crush On Terezi  
AG: HA!!!!!!!!  
AG: Wow, no.  
AG: You could not 8e any further from the truth, Maryam.  
GA: Look I Know Having A Crush On Your Best Friend Can Be Scary  
AG: SHE’S A GIRL, KANAYA!  
AG: I’M STR8!!!!!!!!  
GA: Perhaps You Were Wrong About That  
AG: Perhaps you are wrong a8out this!!!!!!!!  
GA: I Am Just Saying Those Feelings You Described Were The Same Ones I Felt When Rose And I Met In Person  
AG: Okay, 8ut consider this: you had JUST met her so may8e “those feelings” had nothing to DO with your crush on her!  
GA: Maybe  
GA: But I Really Think You Should Do Some… Introspection  
AG: SIGH  
GA: For Some People It Takes A While For Them To Realize That Theyre Not Straight  
GA: Well Into Their Adulthood For Some  
AG: UGH  
AG: 8ut I KNOW this. I don’t need you 8ugging and fussing and meddling in my life like this, you know! Why don’t you just can it!!!!!!!!  
GA: Right  
GA: Ill Just Can It 

 

I swear to god if ONE more person tries to tell me I’m secretly gay or something I WILL flip shit.  
-archnidsGrip

AG: Alright listen up, Lalonde. I would 8e talking to Kanaya a8out this 8ut I think she’d laugh at me or something.  
TT: Should I be scared?  
AG: What? No shut up.  
AG: I just have one simple question. Don’t read into it, okay? I’m just… curious.  
AG: W8! NO that’s not a good word.  
TT: ???  
AG: I’m just wondering,  
AG: How did you realize you weren’t str8?  
TT: Ah.  
TT: Well, that actually isn’t as simple a question as you might think.  
AG: What do you mean?  
TT: There was never really one moment where I just *suddenly realized* “Oh! I’m a lesbian!”   
TT: It was a whole bunch of stuff that sort of swayed me into understanding that truth about myself.  
AG: Jesus christ I knew talking to you was a 8ad call.  
TT: Oh, come on, Vriska.  
TT: I’m not THAT bad.  
AG: Yes, you are.  
TT: Listen.  
TT: I can say there was a moment where everything sort of fell into place.  
TT: The moment I realized, and could say for certain, that I am attracted to girls.  
AG: …  
AG: And that is?  
AG: Jesus why have you 8een typing for so long????????  
TT: It was a summer afternoon, and my best friend Jade had invited me over for a tea party at her house. We were sitting together at the table wearing big silly hats and drinking tea together, along with some delicate finger foods, when Jade stood up and poured me another cup of tea. I looked up at her and saw the sunlight shining past her face through her hair, and the twinkle in her eye as she smiled at me with that teapot in hand. Something in my gut just screamed out at me, “You’re in love!” So yeah that’s basically how it happened.  
AG: Fucking Christ.   
TT: You asked.  
AG: God a8ove do I wish I hadn’t. 

AG: John, please don’t let me down here.  
EB: uh  
EB: i’ll try not to??  
EB: what’s going on?  
AG: Okay I’m just going to ask you a question or two, and please don’t get all weird a8out it, ok?  
EB: well i can’t promise anything but i’ll try not to get weird!  
AG: Thank you.  
AG: Okay, so…  
AG: Say you’re hanging out with one of your guy friends, let’s say Dave. And say he gives you a friendly pat on the shoulder. How do you feel?  
EB: um…  
EB: i feel like this is a trap.  
AG: No!!!!!!!!   
AG: Look, please just answer the question. I’ll 8uy you star8ucks or something.  
EB: i don’t like starbucks.  
AG: What the hell is wrong with you?  
EB: :/  
AG: Okay I’ll 8uy you the fast food of your choice, how a8out that?  
EB: okay, fine.  
EB: um…  
EB: i guess i’d feel… happy?  
EB: i don’t know, vriska this is a weird question!  
AG: John you told me you wouldn’t 8e weird a8out this!  
EB: i said no promises!!!  
AG: Okay, so you feel happy. What thought are going through your head?  
EB: um  
EB: wow i sure am glad i have a friend who… pats me on the shoulder???  
EB: i don’t know what you want me to say  
AG: No, no! That’s gr8! Okay, thank god.  
AG: So that’s like a normal str8 person thing to think.  
EB: what  
AG: Like, feeling good when your friend of the same gender touches you.  
EB: …  
EB: i… guess?  
EB: what’s going on???  
AG: Nothing! It’s just…  
AG: Okay so the other day I spent the night at Terezi’s, right?  
AG: And she gives me a comforting shoulder touch to console me a8out my 8r8k up with Tav.  
AG: And I just get these weird feelings and thoughts running through me like I feel all warm and happy. And I thought it was weird cause she touches me casually like that all the time! And it’s never all weird like that! 8ut it sounds like I was freaking out over nothing, cause you feel that way a8out your guy friends too ::::)  
EB: hm  
EB: i dunno vriska it sounds to me like you have a crush on terezi.  
AG: WHAT????????  
EB: relax i’m just messing with ya!  
EB: haha wow i really rustled you, huh?  
AG: Eg8ert, I swear to god.  
EB: hehehe

 

AG: Hey.  
TG: uhhhhh hey  
AG: So, um.  
AG: Karkat, huh?  
TG: what  
AG: You’re like, a thing, right?  
TG: yeah  
AG: So…  
TG: vriska what do you want  
AG: Nothing! Can’t I just make smalltalk?  
TG: sure  
TG: but thats not whats going on  
AG: Sheesh! Okay! Fine!  
AG: I just wanted to ask you a harmless question.  
TG: what is it  
AG: When did you realize that you’re not str8?  
TG: no  
AG: What??? Come on, Dave!  
TG: wait are you asking me this cause youre going through some kind of Gay Crisis right now  
AG: Gay crisis??? No? I’m just wondering!  
TG: sure  
TG: whatever ill tell you cause im p sure youre having a Crisis about this shit and i know how that be  
AG: Ugh  
TG: so basically   
TG: in sixth grade  
TG: had a crush on john  
TG: wed always go to each others houses and hang out all the time and i had my whole gay crisis about him too and long story short im gay  
AG: That wasn’t really helpful.  
TG: i thought you were “just wondering”  
TG: why should that have been helpful if that was the case  
AG: Fuck you.


	5. Think About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose helps Vriska come to terms with her GAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ones real short cause its almost at the end (peace sign emoji) i wrote all of this and split it up afterwards so the chapter lengths are v inconsistent  
> sorry

Alright. May or may not 8e sort of freaking out a8out this whole Terezi thing. 8ut it’s totally fine! I know I’m str8 and that’s that! I’ve 8een totally certain a8out this like my whole life it’s not like it could just suddenly CH8NGE, right???????? Right.  
-arachnidsGrip

TT: Oh, honey…  
AG: What?  
TT: Your post.  
AG: What a8out it???  
TT: Sexuality isn’t something that’s just stagnant your entire life. It’s fluid, it tends to change.   
TT: You have no idea how many labels I went through before landing on lesbian.  
AG: So?? We’re nowhere NEAR 8eing the s8me person.  
TT: Never said we were.  
TT: Just that, maybe, it would do you good to think about why you’re so afraid of not being straight. Why is that such a scary concept to you?  
AG: 8ecause…  
AG: I don’t know! It just is!  
TT: Well, I can take a guess for you: compulsory heterosexuality.  
AG: What in the god damn hell are you talking a8out?  
TT: I’m sure you grew up, as most of us, seeing straight couples everywhere you looked. In the media, in public, etc.   
TT: Perhaps you thought straight was the only way to be, and so that’s what you assumed you must be. Anything else would have made you “different” and that’s a scary thing to be.  
TT: It’s especially scary for people insecure in their identities already, like you.  
AG: EXCUSE me??? I’m NOT “insecure” in my identity! I’m not “insecure” in 8NYTHING!  
TT: Right.  
TT: This sort of change in your feelings is freaking you out because you’re afraid of change. To yourself, you’ve always been “straight” and so anything else, in your mind, terrifies you.  
AG: Perhaps.  
TT: “Perhaps” you need to take a step back and think about why that’s so scary to you. I remember how terrified Dave was when he had his Gay Awakening. Just take a moment to yourself. Think about it. Maybe even talk to Terezi about it?  
AG: HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! No.  
TT: That’s fine. But at least realize it is completely normal and healthy to question your sexuality.   
AG: I didn’t ask, Lalonde.  
TT: You’re welcome, Vriska.


	6. Oh Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spoiler alert: gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit!

Back at it again at second person story telling! Whoopie!!!! Alright. So. MAYBE you’re a LITTLE gay. So what? That’s fine. This is fine. What’s NOT fine is that you are possibly maybe PERHAPS crushing on your best friend since childhood. That shit’s not okay. It’s also not great that she just asked if she could hang out with you after school today at your house. Of course you said yes, she’s your best friend! And like you said before, it’s hard to say no to her.   
So now she’s here. In your home. That’s fine. “So was there some reason you wanted to hang out? Something you wanna talk about?” you cautiously ask her.   
She shrugs. “Just wanted to hang out with my best friend!” She nudges you with elbow and your heart jumps into your mouth as your face feels like it’s burning.   
“Haha okay,” is all you can manage to get out. God you hate this. You hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it! You hate how awkward you’re being around her and you just wish it could all go back to normal.   
“Got anything to eat?” she asks.   
“Oh sure,” you respond, leading her to your kitchen. She picks out various foods, pretty much everything you have that’s cherry or strawberry flavored. “So is there anything you wanna do?” You’re still on edge about why she do suddenly wanted to come over. Again, she shrugs.   
“Oh, hey, could I spend the night? Mom’s having her girlfriend over and I don’t really wanna be there if… you know.” She shudders.   
“Sure that’s totally fine!” You smile, feeling incredibly sick all of a sudden. “Hey, uh, how about we watch a movie! I have Die Hard!” you desperately suggest.   
“OH HELL YEAH!” she says before practically sprinting to your couch to watch her favorite movie.   
You try to stay focused on the movie but all these gay things are running through your head and it feels like you’re gonna unload your lunch any second, so you excuse yourself to the bathroom. Back to bathroom pacing time! You tie your hair up in case you do end up getting sick. After splashing your face with water a few times you head back out, hair still up.   
“You alright?” Terezi asks, with only fake concern, very focused on the movie. You just nod and sit back down next to her. She does a double take though. “Why’s your hair up?”   
“Oh I’m uh not feeling great, to be honest I thought I was gonna throw up.” You laugh dryly.   
“Oh, shit.” She pauses the movie and turns to you. “What’s up? Do you think you ate something bad?” She starts touching your forehead and getting really close to you, examining you, and you’re basically dead at this point. “Holy shit, Vris, you’re burning up!” Fuck. She runs to the kitchen and comes back with a glass of ice water. “Here,” she says, handing it to you.  
“Uh, thanks,” you take a sip.   
“Do you wanna go lay down or something?” she asks. You shake your head no. “Alright…”  
“We can keep watching the movie. I’m seriously fine, dude don’t worry about it.” You pick up the remote and press play. Terezi sighs and watches the movie, albeit less intently than before. 

When it’s about 10pm and you’re both starting to get tired, the issue of where you’ll be sleeping comes up.   
“Do you still have that extra mattress?” she asks.   
“Oh, shit, no Aranea took it when she moved,” you respond.   
“Aw damn. Whatever I can just sleep on the couch.”  
“What? Dude no you can sleep in my bed I’m not letting my guest sleep on this piece of shit,” you say, gesturing to the couch you’re both on.   
“Oh my god Vriska just let me sleep on the couch.”   
“No! Fuck you! It’ll kill your back!”   
“Then where will you sleep? I’m sure as hell not letting you sleep on this couch either for the same reason!” she says with her hands on her hips.   
“Why don’t we just both sleep in my bed, then?” you suggest, instantly regretting every word and wanting to dig a hole to crawl into and die.  
“Oh. Are you sure?” She’s suddenly much quieter.   
“What? Yeah dude we’ve been friends for how long? Like, 8 years? Oh shit nice 8 years haha BUT YEAH! It’s not a big deal!” But it is. It’s a huge fucking deal and you feel like running to the bathroom again.   
“Yeah that’s fine with me I just thought…” she trails off.  
“What?”   
“Well, like. Since I’m pan I thought you’d be uncomfortable with that sort of thing?”   
“What??? That’s stupid, Terezi, you’re stupid. I’m not a piece of shit.”   
“Okay! Whatever.”  
Sleeping together in your bed it is. Great. Awesome. Perfect. Fantastic. Other synonyms for good. You crawl into your bed closest to the wall and pat the spot next to you with a smile. Terezi climbs in and pulls the covers up over both of you. After removing your glasses you reach over her and place them on the nightstand.   
“Goodnight,” she says.  
“Night.”   
You wake up at probably 4am, you didn’t check, and you’re fucking wrapped around Terezi. Like a fucking koala or some shit. It take all the power within you to not scream and freak out. You slyly jump over her and run to the bathroom. This time, you actually do toss your cookies. Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!!!!!!!! You hear a sudden knock on the door.   
“Did you throw up??” It’s Terezi. Obviously. There’s fucking no one else here, idiot.   
“Yeah,” you say quietly.   
“Oh god. I’m coming in.” She does that, sitting down on the floor next to you. She puts one hand on the back of your head and the other on your forehead and sighs.   
“What?”   
“You don’t have a fever. What’s going on?”   
“Ugh, god I don’t fucking know! I just feel awful!”   
She rubs your back. “Let me get you some water,” she says and runs out to the kitchen. When she returns your throwing up again and she runs over to hold your hair back.   
“Fuuuuuuuuck,” you say into the toilet.   
“Here,” she hands you the water. You down the whole thing in under a minute.   
“God this is so embarrassing. You should just go home,” you suggest. She shakes her head.  
“Fuck that. What kind of friend do you think I am?” She FUCKING SCOOTS CLOSER TO YOU and runs her hand up and down your back.   
“Jesus christ. This fucking sucks I’m so sorry, Terezi,” you say, using all your remaining strength trying not to cry. She just remains silent, continuing to rub your back. You try not to dwell on that part, since it makes you feel sicker.   
“Do you wanna go try to lie down again?” she asks. You nod and she helps you up. You sleep on the outside this time in case it happens again.   
You awake the next morning without further incident! Except for that your hand is like directly on Terezi’s boob, but that’s an easy fix! Your head is flooded with memories from last night and you feel just as sick as you did then. You run downstairs and get yourself some water. Only seconds later, Terezi comes down as well. Fuck you hope she wasn’t awake when you were accidentally groping her.   
“Feeling better?” she sincerely asks. You just nod and stare at the tv screen which is blank.   
Terezi sits down next to you. She opens her mouth as if she was going to say something, then closes it. Then again opens her mouth and says, “Um, you know, if something’s bothering you, you can like totally talk to me about it…”   
You smile as wide as you can muster and say, “Thanks.” 

 

Fuck. You guys. I had another sleepover with Terezi and it was fucking shit. I fucking threw up cause I got so worked a8out how I feel around her now. It didn’t help how nice she was in response to all that! I can’t fucking tell her any of this shit, though. She said that same old “you can always talk to me” 8ull 8ut that’s never real. Ugh. Fuck.  
-arachnidsGrip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit this things gonna b 8 chappies im so pumped


	7. Secret haha more like Serket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha funny title joke amiright gamers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last two chappie r kinda short. hate splitting this up lmao

GC: H3Y DO YOU KNOW 1F SOM3TH1NGS WRONG W1TH VR1SK4? SH3S B33N 4CT1NG W31RD L4T3LY.  
GA: Weird How  
GC: W3LL FOR ON3, SH3 FUCK1NG THR3W UP WH3N 1 W4S 4T H3R PL4C3.  
GA: Oh Dear  
GC: 4ND SH3S JUST B33N R34LLY W1THDR4WN, TOO.   
GC: L1K3 SH3S T4LKING 4 LOT L3SS 4ND WH3N SH3 DO3S T4LK 1TS L1K3? NOT “H3R” 1F YOU G3T WH4T 1M S4Y1NG.  
GA: Yeah I Think I Know What You Mean  
GA: I Have Noticed That Too  
GA: Shes Just Going Through Some Things Right Now  
GC: WH4T? WH4T TH1NGS? SH3 H4SNT TOLD M3 4NYTH1NG!  
GA: Um  
GA: I Am Not At Liberty To Say  
GC: WH4T TH3 FUCK DO3S TH4T M34N?   
GC: 1M H3R B3ST FR13ND WHY 4M 1 NOT 4LLOW3D TO KNOW?  
GA: You Just Cant  
GC: >:/  
GA: Sorry… 

GC: DO YOU KNOW WH4TS GO1NG ON W1TH VR1SK4?  
GC: K4N4Y4 W4S B31NG SH4DY 4BOUT 1T.  
TT: Oh, yes, I know.  
TT: I can’t tell you, though.  
GC: WH4T TH3 H3LL!  
GC: WHY NOT!!!  
TT: It’s sort of a personal issue between Vriska and whomever she chooses to disclose it to.   
TT: It’s not my information to share.  
GC: GOD D4MM1T WH4T TH3 FUCK DO3S TH4T M34N??  
TT: Think about it.   
GC: …  
GC: W41T.  
TT: There you go.

GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU H1D1NG FROM M3???  
AG: What????????  
GC: 3V3RYON3 1 4SK S4YS TH3Y KNOW WH4TS UP W1TH YOU BUT 1M NOT 4LLOW3D TO KNOW! WH4TS GO1NG ON??  
AG: What’s up with me? What do you mean?  
GC: YOUV3 B33N 4CT1NG SO W31RD L4T3LY! 4LL QU13T 4ND N3RVOUS 4ND 1TS FR34K1NG M3 OUT! 1TS SO NOT L1K3 YOU!  
AG: Oh.  
AG: I can’t tell you.  
GC: 1 SW34R TO GOD 1F 1 S33 THOS3 WORDS ON3 MOR3 T1M3 1M FL1PP1NG SH1T.  
AG: Sorry, I’m just not ready yet.  
GC: BUT YOUR3 R34DY TO T3LL K4N4Y4 4ND ROS3?  
GC: VR1SK4 YOUR3 MY B3ST FUCK1NG FR13ND 1F SOM3TH1NGS WRONG 1 W4NN4 H3LP!  
AG: I know, I’m sorry I’m just not sure yet.  
GC: NOT SUR3 4BOUT WH4T?  
AG: I’m not sure if what’s happening is even like, legit!  
AG: Ugh! Even if I was going to tell you it couldn’t 8e over fucking pesterchum that’d 8e shit.  
GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU L1K3 FR13ND-BR34K1NG-UP W1TH M3 OR SOM3TH1NG??  
AG: Oh my god, no!  
AG: Okay, look. I’ll just come over right now and tell you, then!  
GC: F1N3. 


	8. Wh....oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh boy it's the final chappie! no spoilies uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow the same meme three times? ?? what is this? (end my suffering)

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Okay. This is fine. This is totally fine and cool! It’s gonna be great! Just about to ruin your one stable friendship! Nothing to be afraid of! Okay so maybe not, maybe you’ll just start with the gay thing and not have to tell her anything specific about her. Yeah. Yeah this is fine. This is gonna be fine! And you’re at her door when did that happen. Cautiously, you ring the doorbell and the door immediately swings open.  
“What!” she yells, clearly pissed. Shit.   
“Okay,” you step inside, “firstly, you can’t be mad.” She crosses her arms. You sit down on her couch and take a deep breath. “Ithinkimgay,” it all comes out as one word.   
Terezi’s eyes widen and she sits up straight. “Are you serious?” You nod. “That’s it??”   
“What do you mean, ‘That’s it’?” you reply. You worked yourself up way too much for this to be her only response!  
“Vriska, I know it’s a big deal for you, but why the hell couldn’t you tell me THAT?” She’s grinning. You roll your eyes.   
“Cause like! Ugh! I don’t know!” Except you do know but you’re sure as hell not telling her!  
“Wow. Come here you bitch,” she holds out her arms for a hug and you OBVIOUSLY accept. Fuck did you hold on for too long. Shit she’s staring at you now. Uh. Fuck. She’s frowning.  
“Was that… not really it?” she asks. You sigh and shake your head. She scoots closer to you. FUCK!   
“Then, what is it?”   
You hide your face in your hands and shake your head.  
“Vriska…” she puts a hand on your knee, which makes you EMBARRASSINGLY yell in surprise at the touch. She yanks her hand away. “What! What’s wrong!” You bite your lip and look around, anywhere but her. “Is there… a girl… that you like?” You nod. “You know I won’t be mad, right?” You just sigh.   
“You don’t know that.”   
“Oh my god I promise I won’t get mad. Just tell me!” You look up at her and the look on her face is the most sincere you think you’ve ever seen her. You take your hands away from your face and sit up, staring her in the eye.   
In one quick motion, you pull her face to yours and before you know what’s going on, you’re kissing her.   
“Wh…...oh,” is all she says when you move away. And you’re back to looking anywhere but her again! “Dude…” She runs her hand through her hair.   
“Yeah! ‘Dude’! This is fucking stupid. I fucking hate this. I didn’t WANT to feel this way about you! I was fine just being your friend! Why’s my stupid fucking piece of shit brain like this??” you ramble out.   
“Vriska shut the fuck up.” Woah. She sighs, “Sorry I didn’t mean to like. Actually yell.”   
“No, you’re right to yell at me,” you say, humorlessly laughing. “I’ll go home.” You start to get up but Terezi pulls you back down.   
“No you won’t,” she says. What in the goddamn hell is she doing! You give her a look that says, ‘What in the goddamn hell are you doing!’ Fuck she looks angry.  
She grabs you by the collar anD WHAT THE FUCK SHE IS KISSING YOU. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THEUFCKSKGFJ!!! When she lets you go you see that she’s smirking. Your mouth is hanging open. “WHAT THE FUCK!” you yell, before practically jumping towards her to kiss her some more.   
You move away and say, “Okay, okay, okay, okay, what is happening. What is this. What are we what is going on.”   
“I don’t know! What do you want to be?” she says, smirking. But you barely even know how the fuck to process that cause your brain is fucking exploding from everything that just happened.   
“I DON’T KNOW! I JUST REALIZED I’M GAY!” you shout way too loudly. Terezi laughs. She does that a lot.   
“Well, how about girlfriends?” She smiles, putting her hand on your waist. Oh fuck.   
“Oh fuck. Yes. Yeah. Yes, dude.” You kiss her again.

Upd8: I’m gay. Terezi’s my girlfriend. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.  
-arachnidsGrip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was hell to write and even more hell to put all the motherfucking pesterlog code in! idk how ppl just Do That all the time ?? ?? help my poor gay hands


End file.
